I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
