I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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