i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
