I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she looked like the before picture.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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