I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
