Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
