Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
