Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
