Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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