i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
