Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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