so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
