This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
