I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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