Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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