is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
