So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pants are for mortals
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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