Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
