dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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