where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
