Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
