If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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