..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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