she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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