Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
