garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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