If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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