I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
