He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
