i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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