You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
