We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
