when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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