Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
