he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize