She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
