do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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