Already got asked if we're dating
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
