I wanna bring you to show and tell
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
where am i from again
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
