Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
