At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
