I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
