Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
