talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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