guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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