so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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