Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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