my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
