Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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