yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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