He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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