You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
