Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize