put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A bitchslap is in order.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
