we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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