How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We are all done wearing pants today
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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