Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
