he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize