i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
