I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
