Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
