so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
